Last friday, my parents asked me if I’m free after office to watch the pyro olympics with them. I said yes. So there we were braving the traffic in EDSA just to watch this show. We looked for a place where we can be near the show without paying the entrance (hehehe) and ended up behind the restaurants near the dampa. The place have this stinking smell but then again there were lots of people waiting for the free show. After a few minutes i saw a red light going up into the sky and turned into a huge ball of twinkling lights. The show started. I stood there silently saying my oohhhhsss and aaahhhsss while watching the different colors up in the sky. The loud booms that turns the cars alarms. The fireworks were so facinating and beautiful that I almost forgot where I am at. Suddenly I can’t smell the stinking dampa anymore. Nor the people around me matter anymore. The children who were laughing and cheering became music to my ears.

A song came into my mind, “When i look into your holiness, when i gaze into your loveliness, when all things that surround become shadows in the light of You.” This simple experience taught me how my relationship with Jesus should be. That if/when I focus on Jesus, everything will be blurr and all I can see is His goodness, faithfulness, beauty and love.

It was really a beautiful experience for me, without paying 1,200 pesos. haha.

Another year just passed. Lots of lessons learned, things to forget…people to forget, moments to look back and things to look forward to.

Before the year ended I’m simply having this “moving-on” mode. I moved on to a new part-time home which is in Makati. I wanna move to a new job. Maybe a new church and get a new name. Yeah I’m thinking of moving to another country too. Maybe Dubai or Florida..wherever. And then my brain just gets too tired thinking how in the world i am gonna do that.

Yes, another year just passed and another year to come. This year I’m looking forward not only to where God will bring me but to how God will work to bring me there. Few months from now I’ll be turning 25 (yuck tanda ko na.) and lately, being with somebody is not a big deal anymore (compared to when I was 18). I’m just excited on what event I am gonna do next. Or who’s wedding will I coordinate.

Even I am in a middle of the so-called quarterlife crisis, little by little I’m learning to stretch my wings and fly without depending on anybody but God. I used to say “tomorrow I will be good.” or “tomorrow I could do this.” Now I humbly say, “bring it on!” God prepared me long enough for this. I guess that’s the reason for these countless projects that I have/had. I’m still afraid of some things (such as monsters) but then again, My God is sufficient for me.

Last year I wasted ALOT of opportunities to grow in my Christian life. This year, I look forward to more opportunities to trust God. Last year, I carelessly gamble the relationships that I have. This year, I’m looking forward to building or restoring more friendship/partnership. This year, I look forward to more creative-crazy ideas…less hesitations and fears (again except monsters. hahaha), more laughter…less drama, more humility and grace…less pride, more encouragement…less complains, more God-glorifying activities and more boys (hahaha!). As one pastor said…”this is the year of the Lord.” I say Amen.

Can you smell Christmas? Early sunsets, cold nights, christmas lights and trees everywhere. I love Christmas, not just because of the season or its traditions but because of the reason why we celebrate it. A friend of mine told me that suicide rate goes up during Christmas time. People without families, love life whatever gets depressed because they have no one to celebrate it with them. It saddens me that people got to feel that when this season is all about hope and love and peace.

I’m thankful to have family, friends and yes even my work that drives me crazy but keeps my feet on the ground. But hey this girl got wishes too.

here are my “not-so grown-up” Christmas list
1. Rest. Vacation and Spiritual Retreat. yeah i def. need this.
2. Arwen’s (remember Lord of the Rings?) necklace. Waaaaah. I’ve been eyeing this since kuya ruben showed me that brochure.
3. Visit CRIBS (the orphange that I go with Mae and play with the kids again.
4. A night-out with my APS. (over night kaya kayo samin?)
5. That freakin’ Starbucks planner. hehehe.
6. Learn how to drive. (Now this was in my wish list since last year. hahaha. sooo sad. My student’s drivers license will be expiring soon.)
7. A new chuck-tailor sneakers maybe this…

this…
this…

or this…

8. I’m done with teddy bears so maybe a cabbage patch kid who looks like angel…orrrr okay a carebear. hehehe.
9. Another photo shoot.
10. A bookshelf. Yes a bookshelf.
11. A new starbucks tumbler.
12. Rest and vacation to those who works on holidays (salesladies, callcenter agents, guards, policemen whoever you are.)
13. Did I mention vacation? hehe.
14. Freedom from debt! yeah baby.
15. Good health, peace, blessings, love and more years for you.

Taking a few minutes break…that’s all I need. Deeeeeep breathing. Hehehe. Three more weeks, and finally all these things (I mean all these papers on my messy table) shall come to pass. Hehehe. I’m handling 3 major events for this year’s Manila International Bookfair. Did I ever mentioned that all I want to be is a housewife…..really. hahaha.

Top 10 things I am learning/still learning/learned these days.
1. To be really, really, really thankful to God no matter what.
2. That one of the best place to be is in your room with a Bible on your hands.
3. That when you start praising God for the people around you, you’ll see the good in them.
4. That trusting God is hard. But then again there is no better way.
5. That God loves me not because I handle events for Him.
6. That I tend to cry really hard if I’m really tired.
7. That I want to be a Starbuck Barrista.
8. That I’m just a human and I can and will make many mistakes. But then again I’m thankful that Someone with greater power is in control.
9. That I have to be confident and take more risks for as long as I am within God’s boundaries.
10. That I want to marry a youth pastor….oh shucks, o shucks did I just said that. hahaha.

I miss blogging. Back to work

A part of me wants to reach out and say, I’m sorry for hurting you. You’ve hurted me, I’ve learned let’s be friends and move on. A part of me wants to simply push you away and say i don’t need you. You’ve hurted me enough. I could go on without you. Its been a months ago, feels like years. I’ve changed and so you do. But a part of me chooses to stay, refuses to let go. Not because I can’t but because I won’t. I know God wants me to learn to be a big girl and face you, but i guess I’m too coward to hurt you like the way you did to me. But one day I know, I have to choose between myself and God. Oh God help me to obey.

I Love Superman! Naman. I remembered the time when i go “gaga” over Christopher Reeve. Hahaha. I was in high school then. My classmate Mark (who’s now in US) is one of the ‘dakilang saksi’ of my endless ramblings about how cute Chris is. I even promised to myself that someday I’ll meet him. But alas, he died. And it was really a terrible day for me. I even cried. But then again, atleast superman lives! hehehe. The movie is good. I mean Brandon’s acting is good. He even got the tone of Christopher Reeve’s voice. He’s fit for the character. yeeeaaahh baby! Plus the effects. Man, it must be fun working with Bryan. Waaaaah sino bang hindi ma-iinlab kay superman. pambihira!

Watched a play the other night with mae and my family entitled Godot wer is U? (Waiting for Godot). A nice play actually. They translated it to Filipino, so the audience can actually relate to the words their saying. I had a good laugh. The actors are good. When the assistant stage manager came out during the curtain call, I was surprised. Pambihira! Kasama ko to sa theater guild ha. I was older than him so we were not that close but i do remember him. Part of me is proud that he is their infront when everyone is clapping and all but I must admit a part of me envys him. San na nga kaya ako ngayon if I pursued a career in production? Ano na kaya ang narating ko? Oh well, yeah i do miss productions. The rehearsals. The ‘power’ of being the stage manager. and the responsiblities as well. The chaos backstage during the show. The feeling of relief after. The pride during curtain call. And most specially the endless kwentuhan of the staff and casts after the show.

Oh well. Don’t get me wrong. I do love what i do. Di lang siguro ako marunong makuntento or because I still love productions. And I guess I’ll always will.

Coffee either stimulates or make me sleepy. I know its weird, but i could drink a cup of coffee and sleep after a few minutes. But tonight, its quite the opposite. I’ve been thinking the whole day how I’ve been bumming around after I graduated. Don’t get me wrong. I’m doing good with my job. But I guess a part of me wants to do more. I’ve realized I wasted so much time. Waited for so long. To do productions, to do plays, to have photoshoots, to teach acting class and be a GT. I know I can do a lot MORE than what I’m doing now. Which made me think…how about a second job.

Since I can’t give up my first (I asked the Lord and He said stay.), maybe i should get some more gimmicks like be a part time call center agent or a Starbucks barrista. hehehe.

My gosh, look what coffee has done to me…

Now I want to watch Battle StarGalactica season 2…

And its really late in the evening.

Gudlak.

It took 3 hours for me to finish this site. but i’m glad. *clap, clap*. Although i’m having trouble to enable the comment settings. I need Riz’s brilliant mind!

Last friday was a big gig for me and the team. We had our building dedication and thanksgiving. Grabe ang dami kong hindi nakakatawang bloopers. I almost believe someone who once told me that I’m all face value. But then again I don’t believe in traitors. bwhahaha.

Oh well, yeah the event went well. God’s grace talaga. It was raining hard the time we started our registration. (As in sobrang bumabaha yung harapan namin.) I was silently talking to God, “Cmmon Lord, I know You’ve brought us this far (natapos ang paggawa sa electricity and all.) give us more grace and mercy.” And guess what after an hour the sun was shining brightly…as if it di umulan. See what prayers can do? Ang galing galing grabe.

About my bloopers, ammm it was not really a pretty sight (weelll atleast para saakin.) But what didn’t kill me will make me a better person right? Yeah. hehehe. Next time I’ll be more careful and more alert and more attentive.

Was listening to a friend’s blooming love story a few minutes ago. I smiled. This same person like me has her share of heartbreaks and kilig moments. But looking in her eyes now, I know there is something new. Man, she’s grown. hahaha. Basta gurl lab kita. Pagsuccess ka, ako wedding coordinator mo. Pag hindi, hug kita ng malupit tapos sunugin natin bahay. hehehe.

Ang dami ng may lab lyf. aaaa….eee….maprepressure na ba ako?….hmmmmmm….aaaaa….eeeee….cge bukas nalang hapon na. bwhahahaha.

So yeah hope you guys like my new site. yeeeaahhh baby!