“How come you wrote the same old stuffs on your to-do list every year?” Ate Nez, a good friend of mine asked. I was showing her my Starbucks planners (which I used as scrapbooks.) Every year, since I graduated from college I got into this tradition of making “Before I get married or Before I die (which ever come first) To Do List.” “Well,” I said. “I wasn’t able to do it on the first year I decided to write it on my to do list so I just wrote it on the following year hoping I’ll be able to do it…you know.” I grab the planners from her and started reading the stuffs I wrote in 2005 and compared it on the stuffs I wrote in 2006. Learn how to drive, learn how to ice skates, wear more high-heeled shoes — less sneakers. etc. I smiled. Looking at the stuffs I wrote years ago should make me pre-occupied, but here I am again writing a whole new and not-so-new stuffs for 2008. Well maybe THIS year I’ll be able to more stuffs on my so-called to do list.

This will be a breakthrough year for me. I can feel it. It makes me excited and anxious at the same time. This year I will be a year older so I have to make more adult decisions. It worries me alot  that there’ll be a lot of changes for this comming year but just thinking about that excites me to knowing I’ll be going to places that I can’t survive without God.

This year, I will laugh and learn from my mistakes. I will spend more quality time with my friends and family. I will laugh at the tagalog sitcoms, at my dad’s and mom’s jokes and at the nonsense text jokes that Robert and Normi provide daily. I will giggle at the small stuffs and BWHAHAHA laugh at the biggers stuffs. I will cry until my eyes says enough. I will cry at the sitcoms and movies, cry when I feel tired or sad. I will not be afraid to feel again. No… not this year.

I will bravely take risks and stretch my limits. I will be patiently learn new things and achieve new goals. Meet more and new people. I will work myself to death (joke lang!) I will work harder than I did last year and this time I will work with excellence in mind. Knowing that God is looking at me and that He knows my capability. I will lessen my whinning and do what I can. I will not be afraid to make decisions on my own. With or without the approval of many. I do need the advice of older people and friends. I do! I do! But in the end, it is still my call. I will face whatever consequences  for whatever decision I make, on my own with God’s mercy and grace. This is not of arrogance but a reality that become so true to me just as I entered the so-called QLC (ask Riz!).

I will love like there is no tomorrow. My family, my friends and God. I will cherish my relatioships and try to give them my best. I will try my best to restore some broken friendships. I will invest on more friendships.  I will aspire for more intimate relationship with God. I will be devoted in my quiet time and Bible study and on giving tithes. I will spend more time with the Joy Club and look after their best interest. 

This year I will value money. I will save & invest. I will value cleanliness. (workplace? check. room? within this week. hehehe.). I will learn the art of household chores (hey this girl is growing up. yey me!) 

This year I may not be able to learn how to drive or to ice skates still. But this year, I will not be afraid to feel, forgive, make mistakes, get my heart broken, be alone, speak up, stand out, take responsibilities, be all out….live!